LYCHEE: Post Lenten Confessions

Alizarin confessed that her and her husband are trying to give up drinking and smoking respectively (not that Alizarin has a drinking problem, she is just an extravagant woman).  I reminded her that they missed Lent and would have to wait until next year.  Alizarin said they weren’t Catholic, which surprised me since my non-Catholic church faithfully practices Lent.  Well, not so faithfully since I misplaced my lent ‘resolutions’ and kept forgetting to find them throughout Lent.  Maybe I should have vowed to give up forgetfulness and procrastination.  Anyway, not wanting to admit that, I proudly reminded her of my only successful and meaningful Lent experience:  giving up cynicism.  How could Alizarin forget the month of dry, straightforward, cynicism-free emails?!   She must have snoozed through them.  I can’t blame her.   I must say, it was much tougher than giving up chocolate, wine, or any other external vice.  When Lent ended, I was overjoyed to be able to return to my cynical ways.  Government conspiracy theories could now stream from my lips without guilt.  Then, I realized I didn’t need cynicism; rather than a crutch, cynicism became tool to enhance humor and keep perspective on reality, not bury it.   I see you doubt me.  There is always Lent next year.  Until then, smirk away as you drink a glass of wine with us.  (You'll have to step outside for a smoke.)