DEAR ALIZARIN: Beatty for Governor?

A very brazen political speech for a graduation ceremony:  http://www.alternet.org/story/22094/.  This is the kind of speech we need to hear more of from people, who, like Beatty and Schwarzenegger, have access to the public’s ear.  Though, as Beatty points out, that, with technology, would include us.  

Lychee

DEAR ALIZARIN: messages from the recovery room

Had a very active day today.  First, I called to cancel all plans and send regards for not making my friend's wedding (yes, I am that sick).  A kind friend made a grocery run for me, bringing over the healing ginger, lemon, honey, and fresh cut flowers from her garden.  I had to answer the door.  After a few more hours of sleeping between coughing fits I ventured out -- to the balcony.  I realized it was the most I've seen of the world in several days and it took a bit of adjustment to see in the sunlight.  Then, I came inside for some very strenuous yoga breathing and even managed a few neck stretches.   Though becoming quite worn from all this excitement and activity, I managed to get myself into the shower and to heat up some chicken soup.  After that and more resting, I then exerted much effort to turn on the computer and write this.  Time for more tea and sleep.  Hope you are feeeling better than I am.

 

Love,

Lychee

DEAR ALIZARIN: At least you moved on from the 80's

Fame and obscurity.   Would you really want to be famous to the world but be called the dragon lady by those who actually know you?   Or would you want to be fifty years old still singing the adolescent hit songs you made back in the 80's?   One of the advantages or curses of being too sick to move beyond the couch is watching daytime television.  Currently, Def Leppard is on the Today show.  I must say, I never liked them in the 80's and now, watching them sing "Pour some sugar on me" in leather pants with a small pot belly poofing out their faded t-shirts is a bit pathetic.   If I walked into some local club and saw them I would walk out, yet people would pay lots of money just because they were popular back in their younger days (both the bands' and the people's).   If you can't find the fountain of youth, then denial works, I guess.  Bryan Adams, who is now on, at least has stayed in shape, got a new haircut, and a new t-shirt since the 1980's.   I still wouldn’t be terribly impressed if I heard him in a local club and didn't know who he was.  

 

After two days of barely being able to check my email, my throat infection and fever seem to be improving.   Meanwhile, I will try not to stress about what is happening in my classroom.  Anyone who thinks that teachers fake sickness to get out of school has never had to write sub plans or deal with the day after a sub.  No matter how reliable the substitute, it is a laborious process.  First, to write the plans you must plan out, word for word, what you want the sub to do in class.   This also entails, usually, rearranging your lessons to make sure it is not introducing new material, that the material is accessible and idiot-proof (a mythological idea) and there will be enough work to keep the students busy.   All the while, you know that no matter what you do when you get back there will be either no record of what was done or an account of how the students turned into little devils that would not do any work (not that it is so different than when I am present).  Despite my vow that we will plod forward, it is I who suffers as we cannot really go forward if they didn't do the prior work.   So, as you can see, except for the fact that I could not move and I can barely talk, it would be much easier to just go to work than stay home. 

 

80's band update:  they let Bryan Adams play a second song, not Def Leppard.  Probably because Bryan actually has a new song.  I don't think Def Leppard has the brain cells to write new music (nor the talent).   It still fascinates me that in all my time in NYC, I never knew one person to go out to the Today show plaza to wave to family via TV.    That is because we all hate crowds.

 

Meanwhile, students at a neighboring school are in conflict over race.   Though my school is mostly Latino, I still wonder how long it will take for the violence to spread and what could I do to help avert this type of behavior and thinking.  Though my current unit is built around thinking about the concepts of stereotyping, conformity, perpetrators, and intervening, I don't know if they really take it to heart and apply it their own lives.  Or if there is enough time for them to really build up the courage to make such changes.  

 

That was a lot of writing.  Time for a nap.

 

Love,

Lychee

 

DEAR ALIZARIN: My muck-free life

I have been hoping you would write first, but, alas, I miss you and so am writing because I have not been able to talk to you. I am also worried about you and hope you know you and your family are in my prayers. However, as I think you would want, I am going to carry on until you return.

This week's revelation: men just muck things up. No, I actually haven't met anyone new, but attempted to put myself 'out there' as any modern, techgirl would -- an online ad. A friend of mine in L.A. has been dating. "Where do you meet all these men?" I asked, wondering what secret place I was missing. "Yahoo Personals," she replied. I was relieved that I wasn't as clueless as I felt. Well, I could do that, so I went and checked out the prospects. There were a few hopefuls, so I spent an hour or so putting up my humble ad (more time than I am proud to admit spending on such a frivolous task).

Within hours the responses started rolling in so quickly I could not keep up. Keep up with deleting them all, that is. Despite my criteria for men within 5 years of my age and 5 miles of my home (ok, maybe 10) I got responses from men 10 years outside my age and 50 miles from my home. One even from the east coast. While being his L.A. woman may see like a prize slot to him, I don't really see how would benefit. Then, there are the ones who choose to just send an instant message. (Since I refused to pay for the service, I realized IMs where the only way I could really respond, so I logged in.) First, I love the approaches, most just with a bad opening line and no offer to show me his profile, like I am have nothing else to do but chat to someone I know completely nothing about. Here are some favorite lines (all paraphrases and composites, of course):

Dork#1: Hey, there beautiful!

Dork #2: Wow! You have the best smile. I REALLY want to see you in person.

(Ok, I am not hideous, but I am not that stunning. First step is to make me believe the compliment.)

Dork #3: Do you have any more pictures? I need lots and lots of pictures. Something full body would be nice. Do you have a webcam?

(What, am I some free online personal porn star?)

Dork #4: Do you consider yourself conservative or liberal in a relationship?

(Not exactly the most inviting conversational style. He got really offended when I told him we had a communication gap and should stop here.)

Also, apparently in the online ad world, yoga is code for kinky sex positions. Ok, I can see how yoga, as with all parts of one's life, could enhance sex, I think that would only work if both were really dedicated to yoga practice, which, from what I could, none of them were. I am not your fucking (literally) yoga Barbie.

After about three days of this (I was hoping one of those few hopefuls would send a message, but, of course, they didn't), I took the ad down. I did learn that I am way too busy to chat online. I also realized many men are much more boring than the friends I already have (male and female). So, when someone comes along who can have a conversation without relating yoga to sex and is willing to work around my school, yoga, salsa, and choir schedules, well, then, maybe I will consider allowing my life to be mucked up a bit. Until then . . .

Aren't you thankful you are already married.

Rereading over that, do I sound bitter? I am not. I am just really, really happy with my life. Really.

Love,

Lychee

DEAR ALIZARIN: The honeymoon is over

Day 6 back to school -- the honeymoon has ended.

Today, only two students out of all my classes turned in their homework. I am still astounded by what outstanding liars they are though.
Me: Turn in your homework then start item one on the board.
Student 1: HUH! WHAAAT homework?
Student 2: We haaaaad hooommmmework?!
Then a murmur of confusion starts with various high-pitched exclamations of how I am crazy and did not tell them they had homework. They are almost convincing. Luckily, I have learned to put everything in writing (not that they keep anything I give them in writing) to prove to myself that I am not hallucinating. Though I often wish I were, actually, since I mostly just talk to the wall, stopping on occassion to bang my head against it.

After that, went to the gym to discover the yoga class was cancelled. I went to the woman in charge to find out if there was class tomorrow, but she was trying to calm down an irate yoga student -- this woman really, really needed that class! Despite my patient, yogaesque waiting, the woman in charge assumed I, too, wanted to complain while the complaining woman thought I was as upset as she was, both then sucking me into their conversation. By the time I got my answer, I needed the class more than when I first got there.

Time to finish the sangria from the Cinco de Mayo party.

Hope your trip to Chicago was better than my day today!

Love,
Lychee

DEAR ALIZARIN: Salsa, no chips

Day four back at school and I am still having fun, though feeling the sleep deprivation a bit. Despite my stunning teaching skills and incredibly engaging lesson plans, the students are not doing any work. They are not being disruptive or rude, just not working. Even after sharing all my fabulous vacation stories, they all claim they did absolutely nothing over our two month vacation. Though they are supposed to have the third draft of their narrative completed, most are still working on the first draft, meaning, next week I am going to be reading essays that sound something like this:

I am writing an essay about something that happened over vacation. My friends wanted to go to the beach. I went with them. It was really hot and we had lots of fun swimming. The purpose in writing this story is to tell you about my trip to the beach and that everyone should go to the beach.

The only difference will be that their papers will not be typed and may not have any puncutation.

So, how am I remaining to calm and happy? Yoga, of course, with the very tough yet kind substitute yoga teacher.

After relaxing with yoga class last night, I put off any planning for another hour and hyped myself up by taking the salsa class after the yoga class. (Yes, I becoming one of those really annoying people who talk about how great yoga is and schedule their lives around yoga classes and the gym --ugh!) I am totally addicted to salsa now! I think I did ok, except on the turns, where I became a bit dangerous. The biggest lesson, however, was in learning how to follow. You know I am not much of a follower and always think I know best. That said, by the end of class I realized some of my seeming clumsiness was a result of their unclear leading. I am not a mind-reader, afterall. Moreover, the more they expected me to mind-read, the more critical they were of my dancing. I wished I could have stayed with my first partner (who was also much hotter and younger than the others, making it all so much easier). I guess I will have to admit my obsession with salsa includes my meeting a passionate and sexy man who knows how to dance and will fall madly in love with me, dangerous spins and all.

Love,

Lychee

DEAR ALIZARIN: Cool as a cucumber in hell

I am glad I was not in the pile as the screaming may have lead to widespread panic.

Despite my record lack of planning, the blissful Belize vacation is still working its voodoo, saving me from burning in the High School of Hell. In fact, I even impressed myself at retaining the calm and peace I have worked so hard to obtain the past two months in the face of the first day back to school and reluctant students. I think I can get through this quarter without any new grey hairs. They seemed unusually engaged in my PowerPoint presentation of the pictures from my trip, though they did not believe it was me the pictures. “But Miss, you look so happy!” Others commented, “You must have had a good vacation because you came back and are not mean anymore.” I told them to give me a week. Overall it was actually a fun day except my voice is tired and I think I finally am over talking about my vacation. Moreover, I think my students are now convinced that I do not sleep under my desk and live in the classroom.

Here is our favorite picture:

My infatuated snorkeling guide, (to top off my day, he called when I got home after he had left two messages) told me this turtle was killed today by a boat. I laughed that it could be any turtle, but he explained with all seriousness that it was the same turtle because only that turtle lived in that spot, the others just came when you fed them. I could not argue with such certainty. Though the turtle almost took off my finger without a bit of hesitation, I took a moment to mourn the loss of my new seafaring friend. As far as the guide, I think the daily calls are a bit much, though he is very sweet and has that cute Jamaican accent. However, between the accent and the cell connection, we spend most of the conversations clarifying what we are saying.

A bit long-winded, but I am procrastinating work until the morning.

Love,

Lychee