DEAR ALIZARIN: Motivating inspired ambition
Motivation. As JL mused, how do we find the motivation to do those things we don't want to do, yet we must do in order to be able to do the things we want to do. Just finishing med school and moving into a residency program, I have no doubt that he knows the challenges of this dilemma (and has admirably overome it).
On the other hand, being on my two month vacation, I do not need much motivation to do anything since I have nothing I have to do unless I want to do it. Rather, I seem to seek inspriation. I suppose this should come from within, but I cannot seem to muster it lately (as these blog entries probably reflect).
Maybe I just lack the motivation to do what needs to be done to be inspired.
Or perhaps it is lack of organization since I always get bogged down in the business of life (i.e. today I had to make calls to switch my ISP as my SBC contract finally expired and to coordinate email changes, etc.).
Or is it lack of ambition. Over brunch, M, high on my list of admirable people in LA, commented about how her lack of ambition led to her writing career in LA to consist mainly of her one stint as part of one of the studio writing competitions. The fame of screenwriting was something she simply could do without and, in fact, pales in comparison to reality. Same could be said for my editing career, or even my teaching career. But is ambition really a sign of superior motives or is it a way to avoid living life as individual? JL contemplates if a career in medicine is possible without losing oneself and without high ambitions. But why do we have to be ambitious? Isn't enough to want to do a good job fulfilling our basic responsibilties and then also have time to indulge in our own interests and passions, to enjoy the flow of life? To be a good teacher, must I dedicate hours of overtime to visiting students in their homes (as one article suggested)? Should I have to give up my yoga classes and my friends to be the top in my profession? Do I even have to want reach such a pinnacle? I would like to think not, but if so, I will gladly forego the kudos of the powers that be and live my unambitious life, an inspriation to all those who are motivated to keep the beauty of frivolity and lazy Saturday mornings alive and well.
posted by Lychee @ 1/30/2006 11:54:00 PM
1 comments
1 Comments:
Very eloquently stated. However, ambition always seems, to me, to hold more outwardly/materially directed connotations. Contrary to your view, I have experienced ambition to traditionally be all about something sought to achieve success, not necessarily fulfillment (thought both may result). Yet, as you say, intertwining it with inspiration is perhaps the balance to redirect the focus of your (in the more plural universal way, not just you) ambition from the external to the internal, leading to the awareness of your own "pattern of life," of your own individual life. Once that "pattern of life" is uncovered, I do think that a fulfilling life can be found anywhere, though it might also lead to the realization that your pattern of life might be more in harmony in a new environment.
For me, I think my dilemma about staying or leaving LA is partly do to finding such a pattern in life. I think I have settled into a lifestyle that is not dependent on place or even people (though, of course, being surrounded by people I love and respect, and who give that love and respect back, enhances this life). Such is my life in LA. Yet, as there will be anywhere I go, LA limits certain desires I have for my life. I hesitate to use the word ambition, still, because they are not really goals. For instance, I don't think I have an ambition for marriage or partnership in my life, but it would certainly enrich my "pattern of life." Nor do I have an ambition to be surrounded by a community that is more in tune with my political and social views, but it would be nice.
Thanks again for the thoughtful conversation.
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