How to Make Your English Teacher Blush

Sometimes, there are just certain passages you want to avoid reading aloud in class. For instance, the movie theater masturbation scene in Native Son. I don't know if these students planned this question to test my reaction or if it was sincere, but today, at the end, when I say something like, "Anymore questions." One of my best participants raises his hand and asks, "Could you explain the movie theater scene."

I pause. "What exactly do you not understand? I think the scene is pretty clear. I really don’t think I need to explain that."

"I'm just not sure . . . I mean, I think . . .”

"What you think you understand is correct. I don't think I need to explain that to you."

Everyone laughs, then insists that I do.

I laugh, feel myself beginning to blush, trying to gain some professional composure.
Other students who have not read that far want to know what it is.

"Page 32," is mumbled through the room. Students eagerly flip to find the page.

"Just think about polishing the wand," says another of my best students, the other who instigated the question.

We all lose it.

“Let’s be professional,” I admonish him half-heartedly. “Well, if your confusion is because you are reading this and thinking surely our teacher would not gives us this to read and you are trying to figure out what is really happening, well, you got it right the first time.”

Finally, the student who originally asked the question says, "But, I still don't get the point of it. It just seems that we could do without that scene."

I, thinking, ah, yes, back on track, focus on narrative, say, "Well, what does it tell us about Bigger." As soon as the words come out of my mouth, I try really hard to keep a straight face. Can't do it.

It is good to end the day on laughter, even if it is at my own expense. (Or, as my earlier class would say, using their latest vocabulary word -- mockery -- even if it requires me making a mockery out of myself.)