Caffeine, alcohol, and babies

There is the stereotype that once a friend goes off and weds, she
leaves behind her single friends.

It is probably less the marriage than the constant trips that makes
my one friend, P, so unreachable.

Or, as I found out in our conversation today (the first in several
months), that maybe it is the baby race subterfuge.

She was telling of both her new job and her plans for applying to Med
School. The cell phone static made the details a bit unclear. I
finally asked where the baby producing fit, since this was a priority
in our last conversation.

She sighed, "Everyone we know is having babies, so maybe it'll rub
off."

I didn't realize it was contagious, though the similarities to
epidemics is obvious.

"Well, stay away from Alizarin, because she doesn't want any. As
for me, I guess I am glad to be across the country."

She then proceeded to tell me the extent her friends have gone to to
keep it all a secret until they are popping out, almost. For
instance, one couple announced their pregnancy and others were
shocked as she was just drinking wine last week at a dinner party.
Apparently, the husband replaced her wine with grape juice to keep up
the charade. I wonder why? Has child bearing really become so
competitive, so private. I mean, the act is private. We don't need
those details, but it is a natural thing, so what is the big
secret? Just more proof I apparently have no natural maternal
instincts.

Want more proof?

"Yes, well, we'll start trying at the end of the year. I will have
to give up all alcohol and caffeine."

"Caffeine. And alcohol! That is the final straw that would prohibit
me from ever bearing children. I mean, yes, there is the supposed
extra sex all for the good cause . . . but how is that going to help
me stay awake and give me an extra boost during nutrition before my
nightmare third and fourth period class come in?"

Seriously. Who needs such sacrifices when there are plenty of
children who need a home and would be happy to have mother is only
addicted to her morning coffee, right? Not that I am ready for that
either. Seeing a hundred plus teens a day is enough for me for now.

Viva la choices!