Mermaids and Tiki Bars

I've learned in visiting Florida to not resist being sucked into the inevitable black hole of anti-culture and any indication of the slightest liberal tendencies in the country. Welcome to the land of Wal-mart strip malls, cranking air conditioners (where you do need a winter wardrobe to be comfortable indoors), wayward pedestrians, big SUV's and amazing ecology that goes mostly ignored. No, I will ignore of all that (except maybe the cool surroundings of pelicans and dolphins and lush greenery) in order to remember that I am here for quality family time.

That is why today I got up early to meet my sister, my nephew, my sister's boyfriend and his son to head up to the Florida treasure of Weeki Wachee and Buccaneer Bay, infamous home of the mermaids. There is actually a natural spring there, 72 degrees all year long, flowing clear and clean. Unfortunately, built around this well of purity and calm around is theme park kitsch done without a Disney-esque budget. Surrounding the 'beach' area are several water slides. Across the river is a DJ blasting various mixes of 80's music and rock (80's music rules in this area of Florida -- it is as if the radios froze while I was in high school and college here in Florida). Only if you rent one of the single, double, or triple innertubes are you able to float down the 'lazy river' extending about 50 feet beyond the beach swimming area. Sadly, this is the most peaceful part of the river, where the dj's music is a little bit less intrusive and the splashing kids are a bit farther away. Whereas I would prefer to float down the river without all the 'benefits' of the theme park, I can see how for a family all the energy sucking activities for the kids is a welcome relief. The boys were non-stop up and down the slides, in and out of the water, on and off the innertubes, snorkeling, and then back to the slides. The excitement was non-stop. Now, for us adults, usually the difference is we want to create a little less excitement of the energy draining sort on our days off, we want to escape. Or I do.

So, I convinced my sister to escape to the boat tour further down the river. We even stopped for a beer at the Tiki bar on the way over. I would regret this later in the evening when my headache and probably a bit of dehydration set in (how, I still wonder, do you get dehydrated sitting in a spring all afternoon). We climbed into the boat and our 'captain' was a woman probably close to retirement. In fact, like in many places in Florida, she was probably one of the part-time retirees who wanted a little extra side job (versus, like in most places, where you find high school kids working for a bit of extra cash). So, she chattered on in her Florida drawl about not a whole lot (quite the contrast to the Costa Rican tour guides who are all college educated in biology/ecology of Costa Rica) as we cruised down the river at a fairly rapid pace. We did see some manatees and beautiful herons and egrets. The alcohol, though, was settling in my empty stomach and well, I ended the trip feeling ready for a nap.

The rain clouds were moving in. My sister noted how lightening strikes often outside the storm, preceding the actual rain and clouds. I did not know this. I should also mention, for those who do not know, that Tampa Bay area is the lightening capital of the world. Yes, it is true. In fact, a few nights ago, someone died of lightening in the area. It makes for quite a spectacular show, though. Anyway, it took a bit of work to round up the boys, then several false starts to the exit. I was anxious to get into the boyfriends big pick-up truck (a Tundra that I would probably curse if I had to park next to it in one of the many CA compact car spots) and take my nap on the way home. I was feeling exhausted and even the boys noisy chatter would keep me awake. In fact, I was out pretty much until we stopped at Toys R Us. I staying in the car for five minutes of silence, the first since I got out of bed. Ah.

Next, we stopped at the Pizza Country Inn for, well, Pizza. It was freezing inside, but we enjoyed a lovely, huge Greek Salad and typical Florida Pizza (round but sliced in squares rather than triangle slices -- a sign, to me, of inauthentic pizza making and eating).

On the way home, I had first stop to put air in my mom's tires, deflating like my energy and mood. Suddenly, everything seemed overwhelming and too much. To go home to spend time with my mom or to hang out with my sister and her crew to watch a movie? Life is just too short for such decisions. Especially when I am feeling dehydrated and under-caffeinated. Then, every air dispenser in Palm Harbor seemed to have a line. After that, I had to stop at the grocery store. How it makes me long for LA and Trader Joes. The stores here are all huge and badly organized. Why, for instance, would I put the bread aisle about 10 aisles down from things like coffee and breakfast cereals, separating these connected food items with household cleaners and toilet paper and hardware products. Another hour later, I finally made it home, my head pounding and ready to pass out.

I am ready for my vacation from my vacation.