As it should be

Easter Sunday Messages

Somehow it makes sense all this happens today. An important day in
my upbringing as a Christian, though lately I realize I don't
completely get it. Fortunately, I've been in a church where that is ok.

Easter Sunday, an end and a beginning in the church calendar, in my
current spiritual journey.

Everything I thought I knew and understood was proven and debunked.

I am at once alone, the only one who can decide my actions, decide
the path to follow when a break in the road is reached (which is
daily, really).

Only I can decide.

Yet, I am not alone at all. Just ask and receive.

Five-thirty a.m. the phone rings. Tears, indecision. I wonder what
I did to end up alone at this moment. Then, the random calls start.
I sit and wait and listen until one thing feels right. I expect
obstacles, I worry, then suddenly arms and tears and voices rally
around me, encouraging me to do what I need to do, there is no right
or wrong.

I know all this.

We sing joyously and somehow for two hours I laugh as tears wait
behind my eyes. Now is not the time. It is Easter. It is
celebration. We are free to be ourselves with unplanned pauses and
dances in the service. It is all exactly as it should be. Not how
we planned, or even how we want.

Eternal life starts now. Eternal is not about time, but about
abundance and infinity, a love that knows no end. Love enemies even
if we do not condone their actions. Love and take care of each
other. This is the example and promise of Jesus, Buddha, Mother
Theresa. She too felt the paradox that you must love so hard it
hurts and only then does the hurt go away.

And Easter is not death and suffering. The suffering is not what
saved anyone, but the always existing; always present eternal life in
us. The suffering is just part of human life. Likewise, we all have
this eternal life inside of us, this love that is boundless, that
starts here and now.

I leave, but am not alone. I stop in the sanctuary and kneel alone
opening my heart to guidance. I will not rush. If it is meant for
me to make it, I will.

I go now to my suffering mother not because I can relieve her
suffering, not to keep her here, not because there is anything to
say, but simply because I need to be there and not here to sit and
love and love and love, knowing it is just the beginning of this
eternal life, this bliss, this comfort and peace she will know. It
is what feels right and it is the path that opened without resistance.

But I do not wait. Each breath is a pray of love and peace. I know
it is boundless, transcending time and distance, like this eternal
life and love and Buddhahood that lives in each of us. We may only
meet somewhere over Arizona or Texas or . . . but I know it will all
be ok, not matter what.

It is all as it should be.a