I am my own vibrator

One of my favorite parts of the Life of Pi is when the Iman, the
Rabbi, and the Priest all meet and discover the main character has
been a model devotee to each of their respective religions and start
to argue over his soul.

After my retreat in Florida, I found myself with a spirituality had
outgrown the confines of even my liberal Christian church. I began
to explore other less 'organized' religions.

First, I attended the Self-Realization Center, hoping to find a place
where one way is not placed over the next. The front alter has
pictures of Yogananda, Jesus, Buddha, and several other gurus. Yet,
one is still held above the rest, known as 'our guru' or 'our
master.' The saccharine songs did little to lead me to God. The
meditation and Om chanting did. If only we did this the whole hour.

However, my seeking for something less structured, less dictating,
less shepherd leading the sheep was not quenched here. I went back
for an evening meditation. Leaving with the same feeling of
dissatisfaction. Lovely place, but nothing to leave home for.

I returned to my church with a new appreciation.

A friend from yoga has been inviting me to Buddhist meetings. Today
I went. "We chant for about 45 minutes and then have a discussion
afterwards," she warned me and was amused at my enthusiasm. "I talk
all day. The more chanting the better." I expected a circle on the
floor and lovely chants in some ancient Indian language. This is a
different branch (denomination, in my Christian vernacular) of
Buddhism. The chanting was urgent and relentless. The words felt
jammed in my mouth. I could not find the beginning or the end. What
was I really saying, in my garbled accent? I was instructed to keep
my eyes open and focus on a character in the scroll. They stubbornly
wanted to close to draw inward for the meditation. The voices around
me carried me and there were long moments of synchronicity. I do not
know how long we chanted. I was given a small sutra/prayer book in
which we prayed to the founders of this branch of Buddhism. I felt
hoodwinked. I do not want to replace one dictator for another, one
'right way' for another. Afterwards, they kindly shared their wisdom
about this chant and this branch of Buddhism, dedicated to peace and
connecting individuals to their Buddhahood.

However, I was not clear how this chant is different than my own
meditations at home, my yoga practice, my singing in the choir, the
Om chants at the Self-Realization Center, singing along with Donna
DeLory on the ski lifts at Mt. Baldy all which have in glimpses,
revealed to me my Buddhahood, my connection to the moment and the
world around me.

I will continue to seek a place to meditate and chant as inspires and
heals me. I am learning I don't need to do anything except to be in
myself, in my divinity, in each moment. Beyond that, each spiritual
community is just a lovely harmony to my core vibration.